What is it about a day getting old that makes us feel a little less refreshed? I do great in the morning with a little bit of coffee and a good pastry. I love going through a couple newspapers and checking my RSS feeds. Eventually, though, the afternoon happens. I slow down. Today my head even feels a little bit compressed, probably from a short bout of emergency programming. I look around the office for some inspiration. I check my notes from yesterday--some professors and university programs to research. Sigh. Is this all there is? I think back to the Seinfeld episode where Jerry and George plug their pilot for Japanese executives, who conclude that George is "unbalanced." Am I unbalanced? Obviously, but then is anyone out there balanced? Does anyone have the right amount of variation and consistency in their life to the point that they enjoy the majority of their day? Certainly. Does getting there mean taking big steps or little ones? I'm trying to go to grad school--big step. I go to every social event that I can tolerate--small steps. I will try to entertain people at my house on a regular basis--medium step, at least for me. What else is there?
Well there are books. That sounds simplistic, but it's amazing how books and movies can transform your personal world, temporarily or permanently. I guess I should categorize this under knowledge acquisition, sorry for sounding corporate. Can I accept that when I'm not being creative, exercising, or socializing, that the next best thing is knowledge absorption? What about mind-clearing walks?
Another question that pops to mind, is life to be lived as a game where you make investments in things that you think are valuable and hope that they pay off? Or can I live in a wholy different way, where I'm naturally inquisitive and expanding my horizons, without analyzing the merit of everything I do?
I'm sure when I'm old and ugly(er), I'll understand a bit of this. For now I have to keep playing a game. Too bad.
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